Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The preacher and his wife were skeptical. "Prove it," they demanded. So the man turned to the dog and said, "Ezekial, go fetch the Bible." The dog ran to the bookcase, scanned the titles, and pulled out the Bible. Then he ran back to his owner. "Now, find John 3:16" said the man. The dog licked his paw and started turning pages until he came to the third chapter of St. John. "OK, now find the 23rd Psalm" said the man. Again, the dog licked his paw and started turning pages back to the Old Testament until he came to the right page.
The preacher and his wife were amazed, and immediately purchased the dog. They took him back to their congregation and started telling people they had found a Southern Baptist dog. Their parishoners were unsure about the claims, so the preacher showed them how the dog could retrieve the Bible and turn to key scriptures. Everyone was amazed.
One parishoner, though, was still unimpressed. "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" he asked. "Well, let's find out," said the preacher. Turning to the dog, he said, "Heel!" Immediately the dog jumped up on a chair and whacked the preacher in the forehead with his paw.
"We've been cheated!" exclaimed the preacher. "He sold us a Pentacostal dog!"
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Something that amuses me is word verification letters. I know there is an actual term for these things - I remember reading it in the Reader's Digest several months ago... but of course, I can't remember because I have a simple mind. Anyway, these things crack me up! Of course, sometimes they are frustrating because you can't figure out what the letters are, but sometimes these thing-a-majiggers are just kind of funny. Try reading them out loud every now and then. I am actually going to start using some of these "words" in normal conversation. I think this is a good one when you feel like
Or how 'bout:
Then, of course, is my favorite use for word verification - Baby Names! No need to buy baby name books anymore or search endlessly on the Internet for a new idea - try leaving a comment on your favorite person's blog and see what comes to you. Here are a few I like:
It even works if you want your child to sound important:
(it's Hawaiian for "Island Princess Goddess"... or is it?!)
Anyway... those are just a few of the random simple thoughts I had today.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
"Momma, I want you to sing me Little Bite"
"What? I don't know what song that is, Staci!"
"Yes, Momma, Little Bite! Little Bite! I want to sing Little Bite!"
"OK, well you are going to have to sing it to me so I can know what song you are talking about, Staci!"
(then to the tune "Lullaby and Good Night" she sings, "Little Bite, Little Bite, Little Bite, Little Staci!")
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
This video may come in handy to many people at this time - especially during the hardships of the economy right now. In fact, if everyone would have just watched this and learned, perhaps we wouldn't even be in the situation we are!! I know I have really learned a lot from it!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Last week, I got a great deal on 40 pounds of frozen chicken breasts packed in 10 pound bags. I put a bag in the fridge to thaw. Being the food scientist that I am and after teaching too many food safety classes, I really hate dealing with raw meat. I always imagine the germs everywhere. Anyway, I double bagged it and put it on a plate while I went to my parents' house overnight. We woke up Sunday morning to a huge mess. Raw chicken juice had leaked down the bottom 4 shelves/drawers of the fridge and had settled into a sticky, frozen mess. I spent hours cleaning it up and used up 1/2 a bottle of Lysol disinfectant, but at least the bottom part of the fridge was clean.
You may think that all was well with the world after that, but there is more. I brought some frozen hamburger back from my parents and accidentally left it in the car overnight, but it was still partially frozen so I put it on the top shelf of the fridge. Just as I was feeding the a kids lunch, which is like feeding time at the zoo, I opened the fridge to get ketchup and found the hamburger had leaked too!!!! This time it was from the top shelf and all down the sides and every shelf/drawer. AHHHHHH!! I thought I few choice words. (ok, maybe a lot of choice words) I yelled at the kids to hurry and get out of the kitchen, which I do feel bad about since it wasn't their fault and spent the next hour cleaning up dried blood with McKay attached to my leg.
Good thing I still had the other 1/2 of the bottle of Lysol. I hope you can laugh at this. Maybe I'll join you tomorrow. I also have a really clean fridge.
Update: As if I haven't learned and actually cooked the meat, my husband put a big platter in the fridge that didn't really fit, so he jammed it in. I found yesterday that the stupid hamburger had leaked again!!! I think someone is trying to tell me something!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
So, what's the speed of dark?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do people drive in parkways and park in driveways?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Sorry that I still didn't make it a direct link, I still not sure how to make it work.
Hope you like it!!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
This quote was said by my friend Ashley when a group of us were sitting around talking. Enjoy!
Ashley: "I really need some extra money."
Darson: "Well, you could always sell your plasma."
Ashley: "Umm, seriously Darson...I don't even have a tv."
:) I hope you got a laugh out of it, because I did!