Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Last week, I got a great deal on 40 pounds of frozen chicken breasts packed in 10 pound bags. I put a bag in the fridge to thaw. Being the food scientist that I am and after teaching too many food safety classes, I really hate dealing with raw meat. I always imagine the germs everywhere. Anyway, I double bagged it and put it on a plate while I went to my parents' house overnight. We woke up Sunday morning to a huge mess. Raw chicken juice had leaked down the bottom 4 shelves/drawers of the fridge and had settled into a sticky, frozen mess. I spent hours cleaning it up and used up 1/2 a bottle of Lysol disinfectant, but at least the bottom part of the fridge was clean.
You may think that all was well with the world after that, but there is more. I brought some frozen hamburger back from my parents and accidentally left it in the car overnight, but it was still partially frozen so I put it on the top shelf of the fridge. Just as I was feeding the a kids lunch, which is like feeding time at the zoo, I opened the fridge to get ketchup and found the hamburger had leaked too!!!! This time it was from the top shelf and all down the sides and every shelf/drawer. AHHHHHH!! I thought I few choice words. (ok, maybe a lot of choice words) I yelled at the kids to hurry and get out of the kitchen, which I do feel bad about since it wasn't their fault and spent the next hour cleaning up dried blood with McKay attached to my leg.
Good thing I still had the other 1/2 of the bottle of Lysol. I hope you can laugh at this. Maybe I'll join you tomorrow. I also have a really clean fridge.
Update: As if I haven't learned and actually cooked the meat, my husband put a big platter in the fridge that didn't really fit, so he jammed it in. I found yesterday that the stupid hamburger had leaked again!!! I think someone is trying to tell me something!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
So, what's the speed of dark?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do people drive in parkways and park in driveways?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Sorry that I still didn't make it a direct link, I still not sure how to make it work.
Hope you like it!!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
This quote was said by my friend Ashley when a group of us were sitting around talking. Enjoy!
Ashley: "I really need some extra money."
Darson: "Well, you could always sell your plasma."
Ashley: "Umm, seriously Darson...I don't even have a tv."
:) I hope you got a laugh out of it, because I did!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
9. Who ever heard of Easter Bricks?
8. Consider all of the varieties: scrambled, over easy, hard boiled, baked in brownies.
7. He gets a good deal from the local chickens if he buys in bulk.
5. Pressure from the Egg Marketing Board.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
give the video a minute you'll see what I mean (I forgot to mention...watch it all the way to the end...or skip the middle if you get bored...the end is funny too)
(P.S. I can't figure out how to just show the video so this will take you to youtube...I didn't see anything offensive connected to this (which sometimes happens on youtube so surf youtube at your own risk) I'll try to figure out how to post just the video so you don't have to worry about that (if anyone knows how, please share :)!)
Note: I copied this from my friend, Natalie's blog. I think it is hilarious, but I can't take credit!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.
You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.Ready? GO!!!
First Question:You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to miss the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer:If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?
Fourth Question:Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?Answer:Nunu?
NO!Of course not. Her name is Mary.
Read the question again Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!