Someone had to write SOMETHING...

A Southern Baptist preacher and his wife wanted to get a dog, but they insisted that the dog be a Southern Baptist, too. They went looking at every pet store they could find, but couldn't find a dog that met their strange criteria. Finally, they found a man with a dog for sale that he insisted was indeed a Southern Baptist.

The preacher and his wife were skeptical. "Prove it," they demanded. So the man turned to the dog and said, "Ezekial, go fetch the Bible." The dog ran to the bookcase, scanned the titles, and pulled out the Bible. Then he ran back to his owner. "Now, find John 3:16" said the man. The dog licked his paw and started turning pages until he came to the third chapter of St. John. "OK, now find the 23rd Psalm" said the man. Again, the dog licked his paw and started turning pages back to the Old Testament until he came to the right page.

The preacher and his wife were amazed, and immediately purchased the dog. They took him back to their congregation and started telling people they had found a Southern Baptist dog. Their parishoners were unsure about the claims, so the preacher showed them how the dog could retrieve the Bible and turn to key scriptures. Everyone was amazed.

One parishoner, though, was still unimpressed. "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" he asked. "Well, let's find out," said the preacher. Turning to the dog, he said, "Heel!" Immediately the dog jumped up on a chair and whacked the preacher in the forehead with his paw.

"We've been cheated!" exclaimed the preacher. "He sold us a Pentacostal dog!"

Kids know their parents

Last week, when Melissa and Brad and their kids were visiting us in Pinetop, we took the kids for a walk around Edler Lake. As we reached the far side of the lake, we came across a little bench about 12 inches high - just right for little children. Four-year-old Owen sat down, and his little sister Lydia sat down beside him. He put his arm around her, looked up at his mother and said, "I'll bet you wish you had your camera right now, huh, Mom?"

Engrish Resson - Check Sperring

Be Courageous

How Men and Women are Different

My Dad's Dream Game!

My Life

Emily isn't feeling very funny right now (too much time with her parents, I think), so it has devolved upon me, her father, to post something now and then. Here is today's funny.

Who says Math is hard?

Wordless Wednesday

Too Odd!

These are actual buildings designed this way! I wonder what would happen if someone built their house to look like this! I want to do it - just to get the looks!

Wordless Wednesday... say what?

I have one of these... but I get dirty looks when I use it!

Monday Memories...A Fool in My School!

This is a memory that will surely make you believe I am a natural blonde! I was almost 16 years old and getting ready to get my driver's permit. I was taking a class at school with several people who were older than I was. I was a sophomore in High School at the time and the boy I sat next to was a junior, but had just taken the driver's test himself if I remember correctly. Well, he heard that I was going to take the written test that day after school so he gave me a few pointers on the "hard" questions. "OH, they have some trick questions on the driver's test." he said. "They ask what you should do if you see a person trying to cross the road carrying a white cane." "Really?" I asked. "What are you supposed to do?" "Well," he said, "the options say that you can either do nothing and proceed as usual; honk and wave; or give them the right of way." I was intrigued. "What is the right answer?!" I asked. "Wouldn't you know it" he said, "you are supposed to honk and wave, but since it is a trick question a lot of people get that one wrong - I know this one for sure because I missed it myself." I had no idea what carrying a white cane had to do with anything... but I was pretty sure it was a fashion faux pax after Labor Day! This boy told me about all of the trick questions. I couldn't believe my luck to have found someone willing to share his wealth of knowledge and especially so eager to help! I thanked my "friend" and went on to my other classes as usual. As I was taking the written driving test later that day I couldn't believe how easy it was! I had so many of the questions answered quickly, thanks to my tutor in 4th hour. I turned in my test, feeling confident in my answers and looking forward to an easy "PASS" from the DMV. Well, as you may have guessed, I failed miserably. I also learned a hard lesson that day! I found out that some people will disguise themselves as your friend and then laugh in your face. I am pretty sure I already knew that girls would do that, but this was the first time a boy had done this to me. In his defense, he said, "I didn't think you believed me!" See? BLONDE!

Easily Amused!

I am easily amused! Some may call it a simple mind. Some may say I have too much time on my hands. I call it trying to keep entertained while locking myself in the office to get away from my children. Whatever you call it - I am.

Something that amuses me is word verification letters. I know there is an actual term for these things - I remember reading it in the Reader's Digest several months ago... but of course, I can't remember because I have a simple mind. Anyway, these things crack me up! Of course, sometimes they are frustrating because you can't figure out what the letters are, but sometimes these thing-a-majiggers are just kind of funny. Try reading them out loud every now and then. I am actually going to start using some of these "words" in normal conversation. I think this is a good one when you feel like

someone:

Or how 'bout:

And then there are some of them that sound like medical terminology.... that way you can sound smart even if you don't know what the crap you are talking about. "Did you hear Helen was recently diagnosed with recalkea so she had to have a reducksl on her ingestr? Yeah, I am totally serious!"


Then, of course, is my favorite use for word verification - Baby Names! No need to buy baby name books anymore or search endlessly on the Internet for a new idea - try leaving a comment on your favorite person's blog and see what comes to you. Here are a few I like:




It even works if you want your child to sound important:


(it's Hawaiian for "Island Princess Goddess"... or is it?!)




Anyway... those are just a few of the random simple thoughts I had today.

World's Worst Laugh... copied from Ali's blog

Does anyone speak French? I am wondering what is so funny! (then again, with construction guys it might not be decent, right?!)

Friends and Family

Wordless Wednesday...happy endings

My Pet Peeve!

I am not one who has many pet peeves.... I think "Peeve" is a great name for a pet, though... so don't be surprised if I use it someday if I ever have a pet...which I hope I don't. Anyway, I can't rattle you off a list of the top 5 things the "irk" me... but I can tell you one thing that does FOR SURE - and that is talking on the phone to a computer! It drives me NUTS! A while ago I was needing some information from my bank so I called them, only to be answered by a computer that wants me to talk back to it. I was in the car with my screaming children (I know... bad... but I was pulling over into a parking lot at the time I made the call, so...) Here is a little of how the conversation went: Welcome to the (fill in your bank's name here) customer help line, for English, say "English" (and of course then the Spanish option, which I don't know how to type, so I won't pretend I do!) It then wanted me to enter or say my account number. That was easy enough... I could enter it in on my phone, but then came the hard part - the speech access - and there is no more typing in your options at this point. The computer asks which account I am needing to access and I say "checking", but because all of my kids are screaming the computer thinks I am speaking another language or something because it keeps asking me to repeat that. Then it assumes I said "savings" and asks, "Now you want savings, is that correct?", to which I answer promptly with a NO! I then hear, "OH, I am sorry, let me start over... which account would you like to access?" And then the same thing happens again! I decide that it is impossible to speak to anything like this when kids are around! I get out of the car and stand by it in the parking lot... but there is so much wind and a lot of cars going by, so it can't understand a word I say! (those computers are SO sensitive to any sound!) I go round and round in the same fashion until I get frustrated and hang up. This same scenario has happened so many times!! So you might think that I should do my important calls at home, but the same thing happens at home, also! Why is it that kids don't ever listen to you unless they hear that you are speaking to someone on the phone!? They couldn't care less if I am around most of the time, but the minute I need to make an important call they act as if they haven't seen me in months... screaming and crying unless they can sit on my lap (all at the same time) and have all of my attention. I have tried locking myself in a room - and the stupid voice computer can't tell what I am saying over the horrific screams and poundings on the bedroom door. I have tried going outside for peace and quiet, but the dumb trains and air force jets going by every 30 seconds make that a hard place to speak, too - and of course, the kids follow me out! So, I found that if I just sit in my parked car in the driveway without my kids, it works... well, ONCE it did, anyway - until my kids caught on to where my hiding place was! So... what I have concluded, is there IS no chance for peace and quiet as a mother - and that does NOT work with some technology!

Monday Memories...My Spontaneous Grandma!

This is a picture of my dear, sweet Grandma and Grandpa (whom I love dearly, by the way!) Anyone who knows my Grandma knows that she is one fun and "full of life" lady, who is always doing something spontaneous.

This memory happened back when I was about 14 or so (I can't say exactly, but I am pretty sure it was around that time). My whole family was up in the White Mountains of Arizona for a get together of some sort and we were attending a parade down town. Anyway, as the parade went by, we noticed several people carrying big banners down the street with words on them like "best of..." and "VIP of the town" and so forth. Well, a few of these signs had nobody walking behind them (like the person had not shown up for the parade I am assuming), so my sweet Grandma JUMPED up and ran out to the middle of the street and started "strutting her stuff" behind one of the signs! I honestly remember just DYING of laughter - trying not to pee my pants right there on Main Street!